Dealing with Subjective Causes of Unbelief
The Psychological Side of Witnessing
A person often chooses a belief, or philosophy, or ideology, not because it is true or even rational, but because it brings him some sort of psychological benefit. His ideology is self-serving and brings him pleasure in some form. It may make him feel good about himself that he is a good person who deserves good things. It may give him permission to live his life his way selfishly without worrying about personal responsibility or eternal consequences. It may cause him to feel that he is in control of his life or must achieve control to make things go his way. It may allow him to go his own way without submitting to a moral authority outside of himself, especially to God. It may give him permission to hold a grudge and be critical, angry, and vindictive for guilt or pain in his life. It may make him feel holy, deserving respect and honor. A person may reject Christianity because of the psychological benefit gained from a godless world view.
A person with a false religious belief holds to his belief basically because it brings him something of significant values that he has not found outside of his belief:
- It can be something very real, such as social benefits, companionship, love, acceptance, attention, excitement, and perhaps prestige, power, or profit
- It can also be something unreal, such as a promised benefit for life after death. He may hold to the belief without actually caring whether the promised future benefits are true, because the present social and psychological benefits are so great for him.
As a result, even brilliant people make claims or decisions that are irrational or have strong negative consequences because the decisions are based on emotion and not on clear reason.
Using Strategic Questions
Strategic questions are designed to reveal a person’s underlying motives or attitudes that lie behind his false belief or resistance to the Gospel. When a person holds strongly to a false belief, strategic questions can be used to help weaken his hold on his present belief and lead him to be more open to God’s authentic truth from the Bible alone. These are questions that you keep in mind without asking directly for guiding your conversation to obtain information needed for correcting his false belief.
Here are five strategic questions. Use your exploratory questions and reflective listening skills to discover and/or verify the answers to these questions. (To find out more about exploratory questions and reflective listening skills, please refer to the article on “Breaking The Ice To A Spiritual Conversation” sections 2 and 7)
1) What is the source of his belief?
The source of a person’s belief needs to be brought out into the open so that its objectivity can be examined. The source of his belief can be religious organization, person, book, popular opinion, an experience, or his own ideas. Discovery of the source will prepare you for showing the unreliability of the source. The possible questions you may ask are these:
“Where did you get this idea? Did you hear someone say this, or did you come up with this idea yourself?”
If the source is a false religion, ask, “Where do you think they get their belief?”
If he refers to a certain source for his false belief or opinion about Christianity (such as a person, book, television program, or religious organization), say, “Well, there are many divergent views of the Bible in the world. How do you decide what to believe – what is true? The answer is that you make an objective investigation for yourself of the primary evidence. Have you ever made an honest, objective investigation of the Bible yourself?”
2) What are some of the essential details of his belief? What does it offer?
The essential details of his belief are: his view of Christianity, God, Jesus Christ, sin, salvation, heaven, and how to get there. A person with a false belief has a false view of one or more of these. And discovery of what he sees that his belief system offers to him will give you some idea of what attracts him to it.
The possible questions are: “What do you think God is like?” – “Where do you get your ideas about God?” – “Do you think there is a heaven?” – “Do you think you will go there some day?” – “Why do you think God will let you into His heaven?”
3) Why has he chosen to believe what he believes, instead of some other belief? What is his evidence that it is true?
What attracts him to his belief will help you to contrast the subjective reason behind his belief with the objective reason of coming to God, God’s way. Asking about the evidence that a person’s belief is true will reveal what is the basis for his belief. If his basis is not the Bible alone, the foundation for his belief is flawed. This prepares you to present evidence that the Bible is God’s only authenticated revelation of His way. Possible questions you may ask are:
“Some people believe as you do, and some believe differently. What has led you to accept that your belief is true and not some other belief? Have you examined all the evidence and concluded this? Or did you accept what someone told you?”
“Do you hold this belief because you have verified it yourself, or mostly because your friends and family hold to it [or because your temple / mosque / church teaches it]?”
“Are you interested in whether your belief is actually true?”
“Why is it so important to you that your belief be true when you have no objective evidence that it is true?”
4) What is a hidden purpose or psychological benefit to him of holding to his belief? – outside of any promised benefit for life after death.
His psychological benefits are what tie him to his false beliefs. To expose a hidden purpose or psychological benefit behind a person’s belief, seek to discover the primary social and personal benefits to him of holding to his belief. When you discover these benefits, lead him to acknowledge them through the use of a reflective listening statement (To find out more about reflective listening skills, please refer to the article on “Breaking The Ice To A Spiritual Conversation” section 7). Then acknowledge the reality of these benefits and show that you accept them as real for him. This will help reduce his defensiveness and show that you are seeking the truth, and not merely being hostile to his belief.
Most people with false beliefs or a resistant attitude have a hidden purpose behind their belief that they may not be aware of themselves. This will often cause them to give conflicting or duplicitous answers to some of your questions, and to argue irrationally for their belief and against your belief. Exposing a person’s psychological benefit or hidden purpose behind his belief will help disclose, both to you and to him, why he is responding the way he is about his belief and will help weaken his hold on his belief.
5) Is he open to biblical teaching as God’s only authenticated source of information about His plans and purpose for people? If not, why not?
His answer to this question will expose how objective he is in seeking real truth. If you can lead him to hear God’s message, this will help him to understand and respond from true facts and not from false ideas he now has. If he is not open to hear, his explanation of why not may reveal something of what lies behind his resistance to the Gospel. Ask, “Are you willing to look at the evidence yourself (the Bible) to see what it says for itself instead of just accepting what other people say about it?”
If he resists the idea of God or the Bible, ask, “If I could show you evidence that a living God created the universe for purpose, and that the Bible is God’s words revealing His plan and purpose for people, would that be of any interest to you?”
Correction of False Beliefs
Many people merely assert that their beliefs are true without objective foundation. Simply showing the lack of objective foundation for the truth of the other person’s belief undermines its credibility and demonstrates that it is merely a human fabrication. Showing the objective foundation for the truth of the Bible establishes its credibility and demonstrates that the Bible alone is from the living God.
With the information you gather through your strategic questions, seek to correct his false belief by taking five steps, as follows:
1) If he includes the Bible in his belief system, show that his belief is inconsistent with the Bible in some fundamental way, such as who God is, or who Jesus is, or what is God’s plan of salvation. This will show the internal inconsistency of his belief.
2) Show that his belief is not based on objective evidence of truth, but on unfounded claims by people. This will expose the vulnerability of his belief to fantasy ideas made up by people, even if his belief is from an organized religion. Lead your friend to see the importance of having objective evidence of the truth of his belief. Show that the Bible alone has objective, external evidence that corroborates the Bible’s contents and demonstrates its truth from God.
3) Show that there is a hidden purpose or psychological benefit behind his belief that supports it and holds him to it. Explain that these psychological benefits are the real reason for his holding to his belief, and not for any objective evidence of its truth. This will show that his belief is based on personal desires, not on objective truth.
4) Give warning that he is headed for spiritual disaster if he is wrong. Explain that his belief cannot ultimately deliver what it offers even though he has a strong emotional incentive to continue in it. Show that his belief cannot deliver what he expects from it because objective evidence confirms that his belief is based on ideas made up by people, or is incomplete or false. This will highlight the danger of holding to his belief.
5) Present God’s message of salvation from the Bible, This will expose him to objective truth for his eternal welfare from God’s only authenticated source of information, and will give him a chance to respond.
The following are four examples each showing a plan consisting of a series of questions based on the use of strategic questions for leading an evangelistic conversation. You may be able to use these examples as a guide for constructing a similar plan for your friend who holds to a different false belief.
Example 1: The Buddhist
“What led you to become a Buddhist?”
“Are there advantages to being Buddhist over being, say, Hindu, or Christian?”
“What do you receive from your religion, and what do you have to do to receive it?”
“There are many religions in the world today, and they all have differences in beliefs. What has led you to accept that Buddhist is true and not another belief?”
“Do you think that because a lot of people believe it and follow it including your family and friends, it must be true?” If he answers no, ask, “Then why do you accept it as true?”
“Do you believe there is a living God who created all things including you and me?”
“If I could prove to you that there is a living God who created the universe and all life with a plan and a purpose, would you have any interest in this?”
“Now, suppose that I could prove to you that the Christian Bible is truly this God’s communication to us telling of His love and plan for us, and that He wants us to be a part of his eternal family, would you be willing to listen?” If he will listen to the evidence, show him the evidence that God is real and living, and that the Bible is God’s words to people. Some time in your conversation, seek to tell him God’s story.
Example 2: The Atheist
“Well, some people choose to believe there is a God and others choose to believe there is no God. What has led you to choose to believe there is no God?”
“Do you think that believing in God is illogical?”
“Do you think being an atheist has advantages over being a Christian?”
“What is your best explanation for how life began?”
“Do you have any facts, not theories, to back that up?”
“Why is it so important to you that there be no God?” – “If there is no God, then you have the advantage that you don’t have to worry about answering to a superior being, and you can do whatever you want without worrying about God or eternal consequences of your actions. So you have a strong incentive for saying there is no God”
“But if you’re wrong, have you ever considered that you could be headed for disaster because you are denying the God who created you?”
“If I could prove conclusively that there is a God who created the universe for purpose, and that He has communicated to us through the Bible, would you be willing to listen?”
“I think you have a wrong idea of what the Bible says to us. May I tell you God’s story from the Bible then you can make a more informed decision about it?”
If he seeks to discredit the Bible, ask, “Why is it so important to you to prove that the Bible is false?”
“What do you think if I say that you may think that if you could destroy the credibility of the Bible, then you could destroy God’s authority over you, and you could also go your own way to get what you want?”
“I’ll bet you’ve never heard God’s story from the Bible. It’s not what you think. Do you have enough courage to let me tell you God’s story so that you will not be misinformed?”
Example 3: Tolerance
Tolerance says that all belief systems are equally good and we should accept them all with acclaim. A person promoting tolerance is actually saying that you should accept his ideology with applause and praise. If he feels that your belief system excludes his idea of tolerance, then he will be intolerant of your belief system in contradiction to his own claimed philosophy of tolerance.
For example, even though he promotes tolerance of all ideologies, he will complain that saying that Jesus is the only way to God is intolerance and is therefore bad. While promoting tolerance, he is intolerant of your ideology about God. Tolerance is self-protective – intended to allow a person to continue to go his own way selfishly without being examined or criticized by anybody and especially without a consideration of the place of God in his life.
For a person promoting tolerance, seek to correct his false belief first by verbalizing his belief system: “You say that we should be tolerant of one another’s views. Right?” – If he does not agree, ask him to state it correctly for you.
Then ask, “Are you tolerant of my views?”
“Well, my view is that God created the universe and us, and He holds and provides the only real truth. Are you tolerant enough to hear my explanation of why I believe this?”
If he in effect says no, continue: “Then, you really are not tolerant of my views even though you hold on to the value of tolerance. Have you ever thought about this?”
“Will you be willing to consider the fact that God has established the moral order of the universe?”
If the answer is no, ask: “Could it be true that you do not want to hear my evidence of this truth because you want to hold on to your own belief that seems to allow you freedom to do whatever you want?”
“But if you are wrong, you are headed for a great loss, and I am very concerned for you.”
Then deal with his ideology and correct his false belief.
Example 4: Diversionary Tactics
Another way that a person may try to divert you from an examination of his (or her) beliefs is through the use of diversionary tactics. Diversionary tactics are statements or questions that lead the conversation away from a focus on the other person’s beliefs or unbelief. You can recognize a diversionary tactic by a person’s resistance to reveal or discuss his belief system or to answer questions directly and openly about his beliefs.
Some people may try to divert you by saying something like, “I’ll get my act together and then get right with God.” Or, “I am a good Christian. I attend church.” A person may point the finger of blame at another for the purpose of diverting blame from himself. He may raise an objection to a religious faith for giving him the benefit of an excuse not to turn to God in faith, such as by saying, “What about the ignorant native who never heard of Jesus? Does God condemn him?” Or, “If God is good, why is there so much evil in the world?” Some ask questions like these, not looking for answers, but looking to divert your focus from them, their unbelief, and their self-serving ideology. If you feel that your friend is asking a question with no genuine interest, listen with empathy. Talk about his question without criticism, and seek to find the source or hidden purpose behind his question and then respond to that. In simply listening with openness and empathy, you may satisfy the objection behind his question and not need to give an answer. You could say, “Well, actually, why you are asking these questions is far more important than the questions themselves. Can you tell me why you are asking these questions?”
Sometimes a person may say, “My religion is personal. I don’t talk about it.” The response to a statement like this is to give your personal testimony and relate it to your friend’s reticence. You could say, “Oh, that is interesting. I was once embarrassed about my understanding of God, too. I didn’t want to talk about it, either. I couldn’t put into words what I believed because I didn’t really know what I believed. But one day I understood what God was trying to say to me, and it made a big difference in my life.” Then continue to God’s story and show how all its parts have meaning for you.
Sometimes a person may claim that he is an atheist or agnostic. This usually works for stopping people from talking to him about the place of God in his life. But don’t let this stop you. A person may express a negative opinion about any religious belief or he may express a false belief – not necessarily because he truly believes it, but because he wants to divert you from talking about his personal motives. For example, he may claim he believes there are many ways to God. He actually doesn’t want to choose any way or to consider God’s authority in his life, or to have the hassle of having to hide his true motives from you. He may actually believe there is no God.
There is another way that the beliefs of a person can be hidden from you. That way is through your own fear over having a spiritual conversation with a certain person. Perhaps you have a close friend or relative that you feel afraid to ask about his beliefs. In this case, the approach is to let God’s Word reveal that person’s beliefs by your conducting a mini inductive Bible study of a key Bible passage such as John 6:40.
If your friend is using diversion, seek to discover and deal with a psychological motive behind his diversion, such as by using strategic questions. Don’t get drawn into side issues. Deal with the primary issues of your friend’s views of Christianity, God, Jesus Christ, the Bible, why he believes what he believes, and what are the psychological benefits of his belief. Give your testimony and relate it personally to your friend in the form of your spiritual journey and your discoveries along the way. Pray for him in secret.
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Adapted from:
Don Ashcraft, Tongue-tied No More: A Complete Guide to Conversational Evangelism (Fullerton, CA: Evangelism House Publisher, 2003), 59-72, 79-80, 87-89.