Developing Conversational Skills
Why do we bother building our communication skills? Because we want to be sure that our style of communicating the gospel isn’t blocking the seeker’s ability to hear it! The way we communicate must reflect what we communicate.
The importance of attitude
Our attitude and style communicate content just as our words do. If we assume that people are intrigued to discover the true nature of Christianity, they probably will. If we project enthusiasm and not defensiveness, and if we carefully listen instead of sounding like a recording of ‘Answers to questions you didn’t happen to ask’, seekers will probably become fascinated.
Why are we sometimes embarrassed or apologetic when we share the gospel? Maybe it’s because pockets of unbelief still reside in our soul. One way to build faith in God is to acknowledge our fears and doubts and then be willing to take a risk in spite of them.
Or we assume that our friends won’t be interested in spiritual matters, so we don’t expect a positive response. Or we fear offending them. Our fear seems to be that if we dare say a word about God, most people would gladly eat us for breakfast!
But Jesus tells us not to judge others. That means we must refuse to assume a person is closed to God. We should also avoid an ‘us vs them’ defensive mentality. Unfortunately, our insecurities and fears are often misinterpreted by seekers. When we act stilted and awkward, they mistake our sense of inadequacy for arrogance. It would be far better to acknowledge our fears instead of pretending we don’t have any.
No question is unacceptable
Learn to delight in all questions seekers may pose, especially the ones you can’t answer. Tell them that you don’t know the answer but can’t wait to investigate it. A question we can’t answer is grounds not for abandoning the faith but for further exploration. As Luther said, ‘Let us not be anxious, the gospel does not need our help; it is sufficiently strong of itself.’ Our message is that the truth of faith may be above reason but it is not contrary to reason.
We often feel it’s up to us to defend God and prove by our own wits and wisdom that we are right and they are wrong. Debate is not wrong, but if our style with seekers is to always ‘argue them down’, we may be winning the argument and forgetting the purpose of evangelism: to introduce the gospel to our hearers in the confidence of God’s power to convert.
Exposing the faith, Don’t impose it
We don’t force our faith on others; neither do we manipulate others into listening. Instead, we tell the good news of what God has done for us and simply share our faith in love. Donald Bloesch sums it up best, ‘Evangelism is not the imposition of a point of view but the overflow of a thankful heart.’
Take it Easy
On one hand, we should feel an urgency about sharing the gospel. We want to share the good news because we care about them and their salvation. At the same time we need to learn to relax. Since it is the Holy Spirit’s job to convert, that should ease some of our anxiety. Our role is to be a witness to the truth of God’s good news and to share what we have experienced in simple, personal terms.
We need to remember that evangelism is a process. A common question is that of timing. When is it appropriate to share the gospel? In order to know if there is an ‘opening’ to share the gospel, we need to listen carefully both to God and to our friend. We need to ask God, even as we are conversing with our friend, to give us wisdom and a word of knowledge. Then we need to test the waters. Have we sensed any interest in the spiritual comments we have made? Toss out a few casual comments about your relationship to God or about how Jesus views a particular subject.
Get rid of God-talk
We should talk the same way to non-Christians as we do to Christians. But when we explain the Christian message, we should do so in plain language, explaining Christian jargon like grace, salvation, justification, sanctification, redemption, and born again.
Ask leading questions
We can learn to ask good questions. Too often we allow ourselves to be put on the defensive. The dynamics are greatly changed when we begin to direct the conversation by asking questions. One way is to arouse curiosity to investigate Christianity by helping them realize that their information and understanding about Christianity are lacking or inaccurate. next article...
Adapted from:
Rebecca Manley Pippert. Out of the Saltshaker: Evangelism as a way of life. England. Intervarsity Press, 2005. pg 113-125